Voicing Doubts
-Apparently the Rust Seas was not a very good place for target practice. So, Swift Blade and Blast Off are here, trying a different location. Perhaps there is more chance of being seen by someone they don't want to be seen by, but there's less a chance of running across savages that want to cut them into tiny pieces. As the saying goes, beggars can't be choosers. Swift Blade is eager to get practicing as she has a lot of catching up to do. It helps that she enjoys Blast Off's company, and she's noticed it more since she got out of jail, which was a very lonely occassion. -Blast Off arrives on time, as usual. He's generally very punctual and precise. The foothills of the Manganese Mountains may not be quite as isolated at the Rust Seas, but this particular location is out of the way enough that perhaps they won't be disturbed this time. He hasn't really had an opportunity to sit down and talk to Swift Blade since her incarceration. He's seen her out and about, but they keep being disturbed. Yes, maybe this time they'll actually be left in peace. Landing, the shuttleformer strides over to the Seeker. "Greetings, Swift Blade." He's gotten some repairs since the last time- that piece of shoulder armor has been secured and the worst of the damage mended. -Swift Blade turns at Blast Off's arrival and watches him approach. Inclining her head, she smiles. "You are looking much better this cycle," she says by way of greeting. "Lately you seem to fall into danger even more than you had after the first few times we met." And that's saying something. Blast Off almost always seems to be in trouble. So it's not only him that is hoping they are left in peace this time around. -Isn't that the truth? Blast Off stops with a subtle sigh, looking off to the side. "Well... I seem to attract it. It's like the forces of Cybertron cannot stand an independant thinker. And what the forces don't like, fate fills in." His hand comes up to rub at the bridge of his nose briefly before continuing until he's standing next to the femme. "Hopefully THIS time we won't be interrupted by couriers or "supercops" or slicers or whatever else Cybertron feels like throwing our way." He looks around. "Now, you had some weapons, I believe?" -Swift Blade nods and brings out the variety of weapons she did before they were interrupted last time. Swivel seems to be a good spark, but her awful verbal skills sometimes tax her audials. "I tried to match the kinds we practiced with before. Hopefully I'll be able to settle on one and keep it with me." Maybe one day she'll actually have arm mounted weapons like the other Seekers too, but one thing at a time. She gives a little sigh. "You do seem to have persistantly bad luck," she agrees. -Blast Off bends down, elbows resting on knee servos to peruse the selection of weaponry. He lifts a pistol and observes it with the keen optic of a sniper, then places it down and does the same with the rest. "Yes, you have a good selection here. Perhaps we can start with the pistols and work up?" Her comment, however, brings him pause. He sighs, too, arms and shoulders sagging just a little as he continues squatting next to the guns. "..." -An attentive student, Swift Blade watches closely as he goes through the weapons. "That sounds like a good way to start." The pistols are smaller, right? Not that she can't handle the force, but they might feel more familiar in hands that are used to holding the hilt of a sword. "Do you ever wonder if we're in the right place?" she asks him after a long moment of silence. Somehow, it's doubtful she means their current, physical location. -Blast Off nods. "Yes, the smaller weapon will allow you to get a handle on all the basic functions without the recoil." He looks over at a cliff at the base of the mountains. "That will be as good as place as any to shoot- solid backdrop, so you won't hit anything accidentally." He is just starting to get up when she asks that question. The shuttleformer comes to a halt again, gaze suddenly coming up to stare into the distance somewhere. He doesn't speak at first, but finally, ".... I do not know anymore." There's another long pause. ".....Do you?" -"I haven't changed my mind about being against the current system of government," Swift Blade says immediately. "However, there has been a little too much...glee...about the death of those two Autobot scouts. Too much admiration for the brutality of the situation." She shakes her head. "I wasn't there, so I can't say how much is exaggeration, but the mere reaction of it is putting doubts in my mind." While she's talking she takes one of the smaller pistols that seemed to meet with the Blast Off seal of approval. Safety needs to be clicked off, and then she points and shoots, just to reacquaint herself with the feel of firing a gun. -Blast Off turns his head to look at the femme, violet optics not giving much away. But she might know him well enough to catch the shadow of doubts flickering at the edge of his own demeanor. Gaze once again going off into the distance, he replies, "... I understand. I..." he pauses, considering his words, "I can also understand many of the Decepticons' frustrations, and their "glee" is directed at what they likely see as the first salvo in the opening rounds of war. War they hope will topple this corrupt government." He gives a small shrug. "That said, yes... their celebration of the sheer brutality of it is indicative of how.../base/ and primitive many of these people are. Also... how desperate, I suppose." His optics darken. "...But that still does not excuse what they did to Shiftlock. For /that/..." He looks almost confused, then shakes his head, "....For that I just... do not know." The shuttle watches her shoot, nodding his approval. ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "BLAST OFF!" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "I KNOW YOU HEAR ME." ** Radio: Global ** Swift Blade says, "Whirl?" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Yes, it is I." ** Radio: Global ** Swivel says, " Oy. Blast Orff rarely 'as 'us radio on." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "WELL HE SHOULD." -"She did not look at all well when the prisoner exchange happened. She nearly fell as she was shoved foward; I held a hand to steady her, but I don't think she was even cognizant of the fact," Swift Blade says solemnly. "I don't know the extent of what was done to her, but I can only guess that she was treated much worse at 'our' hands than I was at 'theirs'," she says. "One can be angry without resorting to brutality," she adds sadly. Using the mark from her first shot as a 'target' she tries to hit the same place twice. It goes a little wild since she is startled by hearing Whirl over the global channel calling out Blast Off. It's not likely she knows he's an Autobot yet. ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "I need to pass a message along to him. A message about his UNTIMELY DEATH by MY CLAWS." ** Radio: Global ** Swift Blade says, "I think I missed something." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "You didn't miss anything, we are ENEMIES." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Bitter enemies who wont rest until one of us is sent offline." ** Radio: Global ** Swift Blade says, "When did this happen?" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "It's always been this way!" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "I lust for Blast Off death!" ** Radio: Global ** Swift Blade says, "If you do, I'm sure all of Cybertron doesn't need to hear it." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "EVERYONE has to hear it!" ** Radio: Global ** Swivel says, " Well if ya loik I kin pass the message 'long. That IS wot I do fer a livin'. I'll iffin do it fer free." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Yes!" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Tell him I'm going to kill him." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "And that I hate him. A lot." ** Radio: Global ** Swift Blade says, "I'm not sure what else to say." There's a chance that he might notice she sounds a little hurt. "..." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "With all of my being." ** Radio: Global ** Swivel says, " Mmmkay." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Ha! Let's see people make up rumors now." ** Radio: Global ** Moonlight says, "Did someone say rumors?" ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, " What? Kill me?! Not if I kill YOU first!" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "HA! That's the spirit." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "You can't kill me, I'm INVINCIBLE." ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "Yes, I kn- I mean HA! Well, *I* am *MAGNIFICENT*" -Swift Blade gives Blast Off an odd look when he joins the 'fray' so to speak. ** Radio: Global ** Moonlight says, "Go on guys, keep it up! I'm writtin' this stuff down." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "A magnificent... NERD." ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "I AM NOT a NERD. I am a mighty /space warrior/ and I shall grind you to rust mercilessly! With cold cruel effeciency! As a Decepticon I wish for nothing less than your fuel spilled on my hands!!!" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Don't think I've forgotten the last fight we had. You may have gotten the upper hand but next time YOU'LL be the one on the bottom. Hand." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "OH YEAH?" ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off sputters, then suddenly starts coughing ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, " YES! I knocked you out COLD last time. NEXT time I plan on making things HOT! ...I mean.... like, burning up upon reentry into the planet's atmosphere. Yes." -Swift Blade puts on her best 'you have some explaining to do' face. Somehow she doesn't buy all the 'big' talk on the radio. She even taps her foot lightly. Then he starts coughing and she just shakes her head. Clicking the safety off, she figures she's not going to be able to focus. Not now. ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "/Anything./" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "But I don't think YOU can handle what I plan on doing to you next time I get my claws on you." ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "......." ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off another cough. ** Radio: Global ** Swivel says, " Um... Blast Orff? Your un-gentlemechliness is showin'. 'Ow am I s'posed ta learn anytin' from ya 'en yer.... that?" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "The air will be filled with the sounds of your screams." ** Radio: Global ** Swift Blade says, "I hope there are no young on the channel." ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, " *lots of coughing*" ** Radio: Global ** Swivel says, " I'm kinner young." -Swift Blade actually thumps Blast Off's back (lightly) at this point; this is an odd tactic for her since she's usually very respectful of his personal space. "It seems as though even out here there is not a lack of interruption," she says wryly. ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "Um. Well. That will be NOTHING compared to what I have in mind for YOU! (And your claws.)....Uh, oh. Um, hello Swivel. Sorry, it is simply pre-battle rabblerousing and general chest-thumping before we meet again for fuel-spilling and myahem." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Oh fuel will definitely be spilt." ** Radio: Global ** Arcee says, "You know, neither of you are convincing anyone." ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "....Whatever do you mean?" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "What's THAT supposed to mean?" ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "I have NO idea." ** Radio: Global ** Swivel says, " Uh-huh. So's if ya 'as an enemy, ya kin give up yer manners an become a roight undignified beast? Coz... tha's th'xample yer settin' fer me young, impressionable mind." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Blast Off is the worst person to take manner lessons from." ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "Uh...Oh. Well, Swivel, when one person hates another, they tend to be rather... boistrous and ...energetic about it." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "He's a killer you know." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "An energon-thirsty, merciless killer.." ** Radio: Global ** Swift Blade says, "I think that's about enough of that." ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "WHAT??!!...Oh, well, yes, I can be. I was a soldier. A space warrior. Yes. ....What, I was just getting started! This was just getting good, swift Blade!" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Hnn, yeah it was." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "I mean.. ARGH. ANGRY NOISES." ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off HUFFFFS ** Radio: Global ** Swivel says, " No it wunt. It was gettin' bad." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl starts to huff but catches himself and starts coughing instead. ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Sure they do. Everyone loves a good murder." ** Radio: Global ** Swift Blade says, "Count me out of that demographic then." -Blast Off glances at Swift Blade. "She was treated very poorly. Akin to how *I* was upon my imprisonment, though she was released... I would have been in much more dire straights had the Decepticons not come to break me out." He lets out a small *huff*. "And I suppose I DO still owe them for that, too." He gets a bit distracted on the radio as Whirl suddenly calls him out, and can't seem to resist responding in kind- until Swift Blade suddenly thumps him on the back for all that *ahem* "coughing". He sputters and looks up at her. "What?! He's openly challenging me! The... terrible, horrible Autobot. I am simply giving him what-for!" He flexes an arm all importantly. "We fought recently and we shall fight again, like a proper Autobot and Decepticon, right?" ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "I am simply not afraid to defend myself, is all." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Me either." -Swift Blade looks around. There's no one there but the two of them. Her optic ridges go up. "Perhaps I might have believed that more if it was not radically different from how the two of you have been before. Do I need to bring to mind when you /both/ saved me from Quantum?" she says. Which also refers to them getting Whirl to safety. "Still, I was not aware that he /had/ joined the Autobots." Pause. "Doesn't he hate them?" ** Radio: Global ** Swivel says, " I am." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Have you forgotten that Blast Off is the one who shot me in the head? I must take my revenge!" ** Radio: Global ** Swivel says, " kssshhhhhhh *THUNK*" ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "Indeed! I was, and you are free to try, but I shall emerge on TOP!" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "...I'm sure she's fine." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Hng!" ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "....swivel?" ** Radio: Global ** Swivel says, " Ow.... forgot I was on a bar stool an' tried t'lean back." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Oh. Okay." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "BACK T0 WHAT I WAS SAYING." ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off ahs. "Very well then. ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "YES! Fule-spilling, destruction, no show of mercy it is then!" ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "You think you're so high and mighty, space nerd, but I'm going to put you face first in the ground where you belong!" ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "*fuel" ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off coughs again ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, "Well, I'll /take you to the stars/, mech.... I...uh, mean so that I can then DROP you and let you plummet to the ground. Yes." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "Hnn.." ** Radio: Global ** Whirl says, "I hate you /so much./" ** Radio: Global ** Blast Off says, ".....I hate you too, Whirl." -Swift Blade's words cut into Blast Off's happy little tirade on radio. He looks back up to her, looking a bit like the turbo-deer caught in the headlights. Oh yeah, she was there. Was saved by the both of them. Oh. He flumps down a bit at that, finally just sitting on the floor of the structure and looking tired. There's a loong sigh this time, his usual aloof and haughty facade slipping. But he trusts Swift Blade, so... "...Yes. Apparently he was promised that if he joined the Autobots, he'd get his hands and face back. ...Hasn't happened yet; I doubt it will, either. These are the Autobots we are talking about, after all. And now... he's keeping an optic on Shiftlock over there, too." He's not sure how much Swift Blade knows- he doesn't know if she knows that he and the 'copter are an /item/ and he hesitates telling even her that, just in ase she doesn't. Though he knows she's quite perceptive. "Now we're enemies. Bitter enemies. Or... at least that's the facade we need to present to the world. Whirl is Decepticon public enemy Number One, after all." -Swift Blade looks as though /she/ is going to start coughing pretty soon. "You need to stop," she says. "Only trouble lies this way." Before she had seemed faintly amused and somewhat annoyed. Now she just looks concerned. She sits down as well, giving him back his space now that he's not coughing like he had gone and sucked back a tube of that evil vapor. "I don't know the full extent of the friendship," (which means she probably doesn't suspect it's anything more, right?) "but I would guess that you would not make such a display if you fully believed that you were /just/ enemies." She sighs. "I just don't want to see you get into trouble." -The Seeker's concerned look is matched with a sober one on the part of the shuttle. Another vented sigh, and he glances away. "... No, we're not enemies." he admits, since she pretty much knows that anyway, "I actually care for the mech. Which... isn't exactly how I am supposed to feel as a Decepticon, I know." His sober look hardens, and he turns to give her a steely-eyed stare. "But I will do what I *want* to do, not what some self-appointed authority *tells* me to do. I will LIKE who I LIKE. My freedom to choose is too important to me to blindly follow some other individual's inability to ever forgive what Whirl did to him- something Whirl was *ordered* to do, no less. Megatron's own failings do not translate into my own. And I would not be myself if I followed the crowd like some turbo-sheep. I follow my own compass, not one that is dictated to me." -"I'm not going to tell you how to feel, but you need to be more...subtle...about it," Swift Blade says slowly, perhaps a bit awkwardly. Though not for the reasons that he might initially guess. "If everyone was talking that way on the radio, it would barely be above notice, but if the two of you are the ONLY ones doing it, that will seem suspicious," she notes. Her expression softens a great deal. "Don't worry; I won't tell anyone. Megatron is not perfect, and his inability to forgive...it seems to be leading him down a very dark and dangerous path indeed. And we can't ignore that." -Blast Off gives Swift Blade a more quiet look this time. She's right, and he knows it. She's also one of the few people he'll drop most of the *denial* and pretentious facade he tend sto put on otherwise. "...I try. But when he gets on the radio, it's hard not to respond. I... don't see him much more otherwise. Except.." He almost sounds a little amused now, "...when we meet for a "fight"." (cough) His elbow comes to rest upon an uplifted knee joint as he listens to the rest. "...Yes. First he threatened Swindle's life, then nearly took Shiftlock's." His optics darken. "If I had been there when that happened.... I don't know that I would have been able to simply stand by and watch. I.... I don't know what I would have done." It's a serious statement to hint at the possibility of mutiny. "Though on the other servo, I... really don't mind the dark and dangerous path. I think it is the only way we can to cleanse the corruption. There WILL be some spilled fuel. As a soldier, I am not adverse to that." -"There is a difference between doing what needs to be done, no matter how dangerous and violent, and inviting violence into your spark to stay, to GUIDE you," Swift Blade says earnestly. "I still have not decided if he would even listen to me if I spoke to Megatron about such matters." She's not an empath; all she has to go on is what she's seen and heard of the leader of the Decepticons. "Still, he's going to need people there that aren't base and brutal. Because if he wins, someone will have to pick up the pieces. He might not be in a position to." She reaches forward to lightly touch Blast Off's shoulder, if he will so allow it. Her movements are slow enough that the intention is there to let him choose evasion. "The distance may be difficult, but you are putting both yourself and Whirl in danger if you push the facade too far." -There's a brief glance at the Seeker and the faintest flinch at the touch, but Blast Off is finally over a lot of the irrational fears brought on by Feint so many cycles earlier. Besides, while he still doesn't enjoy being touched or getting too close to most people, he actually doesn't mind as much if he has come to truly trust someone and enjoys their company. Which is maybe 3 people, including Swift Blade. "...Yes. I am not sure how...approachable Megatron is anymore. He seems to be too busy brewing in his own anger." As for Whirl, he gives her a small nod. "...I will try to... tone it down." The shuttleformer looks increasingly thoughtful, then somewhat... is it pained? He gazes up into the sky before continuing. "But I will manage. I always do, after all. *Despite* the treachery of others." Now there's a hint of anger in his tone. "... You missed some things while you were... away, Swift Blade. I learned that not even my own /people/ can always be trusted. Did you ever meet Starchamber, I wonder?" -"I never have met Starchamber, though I believe you did mention she helped dig you out of some rubble," Swift Blade says, not even imagining what happened between the two of them. "Did she do something to betray you?" she asks gently, just trying to surmise where the conversation is going by each sentence. But, is that a hint of anger as well in the generally calm femme's voice? Or is Blast Off perhaps projecting? A slight narrowing of her optics suggests the former. The seeker femme's hand rests only for a few moments on the mech's shoulder. The touch is light, more a reaffirmation of support and compassion than anything else, yet there's a certain warmth to it. Metal, yet alive, the thing that most of her organic masters failed to comprehend. -That sudden subtle hint of anger in swift Blade's normally calm and serene voice IS noted, and it briefly brings what he was going to say to a halt. Blast Off stops and stares at her. The touch feels good, actually, and while he doesn't return it he doesn;t brush her away like he would most others, either. He does eventually continue speaking, though, his hands beginning to flex as if in agitation. "...Yes. We are both Combaticons. She came from off planet not long ago. Told me what happened to Combatron. Kept saying that she wanted to..." He pauses a moment, wondering if he ought to tell Swift Blade this or not, but decides to continue. "She wanted to... /be/ with me." His hand comes over to start idly picking at his heat shields. He looks up at the Seeker. "I...uh, you know, if this is too... untoward, too personal, we can go back to sighting in your pistols..." -Swift Blade shakes her head at this. "Not at all," she says gently. "If you have something you need to get off your chest, then I'm here to listen. There will be time enough for the pistols." Her optics are earnest. "So she was one of your own people. They say that like turns to like." She has not been socialized to feel awkward about such things. Not really. -Blast Off nods. His words are careful, measured, as if he is working very hard not to give away any excess emotion. "She was around for awhile, following me, telling me that she /wanted/ me, that she would wait for me. That we should be together as Combaticons and space alts. I... was not ready at the time. I was still ...dealing with the issues Feint brought upon my person, and I.. hesitated." He brings his hands into his lap and becomes very still, except for the soft tapping of his thumbs together. Staring straight ahead, he continues softly, "Not long ago, I... I finally agreed. She and I seemed perfect for each other, and she seemed so... /earnest/ in her affections, that I... well, we interfaced." There's a pause as he /hopes/ that's not too much information. But it IS something he needs to "get off his chest", and Swift Blade seems keen to listen. "I shared /everything/. Including the ...trauma I experienced from Feint's torture." Even the thumb tapping eventually stills. "And ....yes, she removed me from the rubble. Then, the next time I saw her..." His optic ridges furrow down deeplyand he doesn't seem to really see anything at all right now. Thousand yardf stare and all that. "She laughed in my face. MOCKED what I experienced in prison and said that... well, basically it had all meant /nothing/. I soon figured out she has gone on to live with a /Dynobot/ of all things." His words by this point are rather stiff, as he keeps his emotions heavily in check. -The Seeker femme doesn't really know /who/ Feint is specifically, or what a Dynobot is, nor does it matter. It doesn't change the meaning of the tale. She listens intently, her expression understanding. When Blast Off finishes she is silent for a moment. "It sounds as though she is either fickle or malicious; I haven't met her so I couldn't say for certain." She sighs softly. "I don't know much about affection to be honest; it was missing for most of my life." Slavery and all that. "But I imagine that it took a tremendous amount of trust to reach the point the two of you came to, and to have it turned back on you must have felt like a complete betrayal, not only of the experience shared but of your very being," she says solemnly. -Did Blast Off tell her the tale of Feint's torture? At this point he's not even sure... she just seems to be there and know lots of things, and he trusts her enough to speak his mind. The shuttle's look darkens, and he mutters, "I'd say /malicious/. She's rotten to the core. There are...six Combaticons left in the universe now? There's nothing left of our homeworld, and she obviously doesn't give a..." He almost says slag, then decides not to, "...doesn't give a scraplet about anyone except herself." Every word is bitter. "It was enough that I renounced my own people. I'm disgusted with them. It /was/ a betrayal. I do not give my trust easily, and she taught me only a /fool/ trusts someone they don't know that well. Even a fellow Combaticon." -Swift Blade nods her head slowly to this; her look is clearly one of compassion. She's quite a bit different from many of Blast Off's associates, who are often greedy, violent, or both. Even Whirl, whom he is so close to, is a rather rough mech, quite prone to violence and hard words. Yet, she's not exactly soft, at least, not in the sense that she has been pampered, sheltered, and coddled. "There is danger in trusting to easily, but there is a different danger in never trusting anyone at all," she says slowly. "This will take a long time to heal, and no medic will be proficient enough to do it. I just wish...I wish that you didn't have such a hard time of things." It's not pity. "I think you don't have enough chance to really shine." -Blast Off does indeed hang out with a lot of rough sorts- and certainly, despite having renounced his own kind- he IS still a Combaticon. There's a rough, shadowy side to him. But it's not the only side. One constant, though, is the difficulty of allowing hismelf to /trust/, something Starchamber only made harder. "I'm not sure a warrior /should/ trust. It only makes one... vulnerable to attack." He continues to listen to Swift Blade, keeping quite still. There is a lot of hurt and he is having to work to keep that aloof facade going and not just break down right now. But that would be... unseemly, of course. The femme's last sentence causes him to break from his thousand-yard stare, however. He blinks, then slowly turns to look at her. He seems to take her into consideration for a moment, optics trying to obtain a reading on her intent. "...What do you mean?" -"At the very least, a warrior has to trust himself, his insticts, and his weapon, wouldn't you agree?" asks Swift Blade. "Once that is assured, then your team-mates would be the next best step. But, trusting no one, that would be very lonely." And does she ever know about being lonely. "But you are not /simply/ a warrior. You are many things, and each part of you is just as important as the next." She furrows her optic ridges for a moment, trying to gauge which of her words he is questioning. "You have been on the run for some time, probably for as long as I've known you. There always seems to be some trouble. In all of that, you don't have the chance to center yourself, to really find out what you want. You're living from catastrophe to catastrophe. This...would wear on anyone." -Loneliness. Indeed, when you have as difficult a time trusting anyone as Blast Off does, you do get extremely lonely. Its a defining trait of the mech. One he denies and masks, but something that's always there. And why the betrayal of that fragile trust is so utterly devastating. Her words just stir some of the conflict in his spark. "Lonely doesn't matter; I am a space shuttle, I was /built/ to be alone." It's a lie, but it's one he tells himself constantly to try and make everything make sense. To try not to seem /weak/ for feeling lonely. "It would be... foolish of me to feel otherwise." Blast Off muses on Swift Blade's compassion and concern. She is always there, always offering advice and seeming genuinely interested in his welfare while seeming to want nothing in return. He goes back to studying her a moment, then glances away. "... Yes, well... how can I? I'm a fugitive. I can never relax, never live in a high rise in Vos like I once did. Never get a nice job in Altihex, or travel to space like I was meant to. When I /do/ try to center myself, I wind up betrayed. Or arrested. Tortured. No... I think relaxation and centering will have to wait awhile. I have too many battles on my hands." He glances to the femme. "As will you." -"Space isn't empty; you know that as well as anyone," Swift Blade says gently. "And never is a long time. If I thought I would never be free, I might still be a slave, serving the organics with no choices." She shifts slightly. "I waited nine million years. That is a long time, but it isn't forever. You are a strong mech, Blast Off. You will make it to the other side, and you will have those things again." She tilts her head to the side and regards him intently. "The war is coming, and we will fight. That is inevitable. But always think about what you WANT from that fighting.` -A strong mech. Pretty much the exact /opposite/ of what Starchamber called him. Blast Off looks up at Swift Blade, feeling some gratitude towards the femme. Enough that he has to admit, "...Yes, that is true. Well..." he gives a slight shrug. "I have waited a long time, as have you. And we can wait a little longer, if that's what it takes." His gaze falls to the weapons she has brought. "As for what I want..." His optic ridges twitch, furrowing briefly. What /does/ he want? "I haven't had a lot of time to think about that. Some... of the finer things, some ...excitement. And the ability to live how I wish without someone always venting down my neck." He looks at her. "What do you want?" -"I want to take down this corrupt system and still be here to help build a new one," Swift Blade says. "One where each person owns themselves and their consequences. It won't be easy, but I'd like to think that it can be done." She doesn't know all that Starchamber had said to Blast Off, but she has a broader idea of strength than the Combaticon femme has. Brute strength, while powerful, certainly isn't the only measure of a person's worth and ability to survive. "But more importantly, I want to be able to put my hands towards tasks that I can feel the benefit from. Perhaps it is selfish of me, but I had to serve others to the exclusion of myself for so long. As you said, however, now is not the time for that." -Blast Off finds himself with a small smile under his faceplate. "An admirable goal. I would like that, too, and I do believe it can happen." He lifts an optic ridge. "I'm in the Decepticons, I suppose I might as well believe that, right?" They still stand for truth, freedom, and the Cybertronian way, right? The shuttleformer shifts his weight, bringing his hands onto the ground and pushing up so that he finally rises from his sitting position and stands once more. Now he looks from a much more level position, shuttle to Seeker. "I do not believe it selfish at all, Swift Blade. You've served others long enough. Speaking of "getting a chance to shine"- it is YOUR turn." His smile remains, though still hidden under the faceplate. She might be able to hear a warm quality in his voice, though. "Have you had a chance to explore what it is to be a Seeker?" -"Not all Decepticons believe it. I've seen that myself. But as long as some of us still do, there is always the chance that we can guide others to a brighter way of thinking." Swift Blade truly does believe this. Though, even she has to admit that some mechs will not change, a fact that makes her sad. And then Blast Off mentions the Seeker thing. "I was going to wait until I can actually match them somewhat in speed," Swift Blade says with a smile that is not hidden. "Also, the few that I know seem to have been busy. I'm sure the time will come though." -Blast Off nods. "....True. It may be up to us to remind the others what /civilized/ beings actually do. Not what the rough and tumble groundpounders and miners are used to. Perhaps something like my teachings to Swivel... we can lead by example." Because he ALWAYS sets such a good example. "I see. Yes, I'm sure the time will come, too. Perhaps you can get your speed upgraded soon, too." He then reaches down, picking up one of the smaller blasters. He lifts it up again, hefting the weight and measuring its balance in his hands, then handing it towards her. "Here, try this. I think this might fit you well." -Swift Blade accepts the blaster with a grave nod, taking a moment to gauge it's weight also. Her mind isn't fully adapted to the necessary qualities of a ranged weapon, but the response is almost automatic; it's what she would always do with a sword or any other melee weapon given to her. While swords are her 'speciality' she does know how to use a variety of close quarter weapons. She extends her arm outwards, staring down the length of it over the 'sight' of the blaster, fixing her red-optic gaze in the direction the weapon is pointed. "When leading by example, it seems less like you're trying to control someone. Everyone has already been controlled and held down. The choice to follow will seem more appealing if we are not doing the very same thing the system has done to them," she states before firing. -Blast Off lets his hold on the gun linger for a second before relinquishing it, his fingers near hers but without his usual standoffishness. He then watches as she loads and fires the weapon, noting her stance and pointing out where she might want to adjust her front foot *just so* in order to get a more stable rest. "Indeed. I've never really been interested in trying to order others around- I simply want for people to leave me alone." "That was good, now try this one." He holds the next weapon, this time a rifle. But this time, as he holds it he looks down and begins idly fingering at the barrel, as if contemplating saying something. "Swift Blade. I should also say.... thank you." -"I should be thanking you; you're the one teaching me something," Swift Blade says, not really fully aware of how precious it is to just sit and listen since that is her natural disposition. While not demonstrative, she isn't really shy either, and the bits of lingering contact don't phase her, though she does find it noteworthy on two points. One, Blast Off isn't shying away from her. Two, it's rather pleasant. Listening to the advice, she adjusts her stance. Using swords, you want to move with the object; apparently with a gun you want to brace against it. The contrast is...interesting. Perhaps even insightful. "I don't know if that's completely acurate. I think you want to be seen as someone with value and respected as such. Being left alone would exclude that as well." -"Yes, well, it is a pleasure to instruct you on these matters." Blast Off then listens to that last bit and glances down. She's almost *annoyingly* observant for someone who likes to bluff and deny and evade his true feelings. Or it would be annoying, but... it's not. "...Yes. And I suppose it would. I DO want to be respected. I was once, I ought to be again." Then, well, if Swift Blade likes the Combaticon's lack of shyness, she might like what he does next- if she doesn't find it too awkward. His optic ridges furrow down, like he's concentrating on something. Gathering courage, perhaps. Then his hand slowly reaches up. Quite stiffly at first, like he doesn't have any practice at this and isn't sure exactly how it's done. It falters a moment, then continues. He stares at the hand, glances to Swift Blade, then back to concentrating on the hand. Slowly, almost painfully, it finds its way... to Swift Blade's shoulder, where it will gently pat her on her armor plate if she so allows. "I DO want to thank you, though. For... just being here." -"Then you're welcome," Swift Blade says. The contact makes her shift slightly, but towards him, not away from him. It's subtle enough that she might not even be aware she did such a thing. And, in a way, she has been /there/ almost from the beginning, though it was a slow migration towards this point. She had started just a peripheral acquaintance, not even willing to fight the law for him. Now she's here, willing to go to war on his side because she didn't wish to fight /against/ him. And what has she asked for in return? Just the instructions in firing a weapon, not a hard task at all for the sniper. It's quite a contrast from how things have likely gone with the others who were close in his past. Shiftlock, Whirl, Starchamber, even Arcee briefly. There's just a quiet, calming serenity to Swift Blade that a lot of people on Cybertron lack. "Respect is earned, and you have always had mine," she ventures to say. -Blast Off keeps his hand on her shoulder, violet optics taking in her red ones. His expression is still largely hidden behind that faceplate, but there is definitely an unusual warmth there right now. His cultured voice is soft. "I... know. And you have earned mine." He then removes his hand, glancing away to break the contact and return to a more usual aloof demeanor. But with her... not TOO aloof. She is a steady presence, and one who has never betrayed him. She has become a real friend to him, he realizes. Yes, even joining the Decepticons so as not to have to fight /him/. He values that friendship, too. And for all his talk about not trusting people, when he does trust them his loyalty is equally strong. Right now, there are probably three people Blast Off feels this way about, and she is one of them. "Well. Um." He glances at the remaining weapons. "I... suppose we should continue then?" He scratches at a heat shield briefly before moving to continue the studies with a very good friend. -Blast Off appreciates it, too. He gives her a nod, "Yes... there are target drones we could obtain. Perhaps next time that's what we'll do." Pause. "If you'd like a next time." Somehow he imagines she will. -"Of course," as if it was a given. "Though we'll see how far I get this time before we definitely decide on next time." They'll probably go through the paces with all the guns so Blast Off can help her narrow down which two or three seem best, and then focus on them until THE ONE becomes apparent. Because that's easier with guns than it is with people, right?